A section of Ayisha’s marvellous story:
It suddenly started to thunder just as Simon reached the vicious scaly dragon. Outside his rotten cave there looked like there was fresh blood. Strangely a daunting crow was flying annoyingly in front of Simon. Simon twisted to the side trying to get rid of the bird, as he did that he saw an intrepid soldier that had fought the dragon to his death.
Because Simon did not listen to the bird and turn back, the crow shoved a rock off the cave wall to wake the dragon from his deep sleep. Simon took two slow paces back and one rapid one. The dragon woke up very annoyed and angry. The dragon stood up with its scales releasing from its sleep. The dragon struck at Simon as quick as a flash.
So the fight began, Simon got off to a very good start, but he sort of went downhill. Simon had a plan because the dragon had turned around. “ACCC!” Screamed the dragon. And the dragon was dead.
Ayisha has began this chapter with great pathetic fallacy. This has built the tension up immediately, the reader can assume it will be an exciting and violent scene due to the thunder. Along with this she has included two additional characters; the crow and the dead soldier. Both of these are fairly bleak and add to the tension furthermore.
Although the main fight with the dragon is quick, she has not rushed whatsoever to reach the actual fight. This is the part of the writing that is key to keep the reader engaged. She has definitely been successful in keeping the reader excited, I couldn’t take my eyes away from it!
This week’s writer of the week to come on Monday…