End of Dyson’s Writing

Recently we have been writing flashbacks. Everyone has managed to write a story that includes a flashback and they all work well.

Sadly this is the last piece of extended writing that Dyson will do this year!

Every member of the class chose a phrase or a sentence that they thought was particularly good from their writing over the last few days. They are below:

Thomas: They were as angry as a lion in his cage. Thomas describing the crowd at a football game. 

Ayisha: It was only when they were about to land, she started to complain; Shannon flumped down to her seat with power. Pulling a face at her mum, she sighed. Ayisha has described the feelings of Shannon without directly mentioning them, a really complex skill! 

Rohan: When he’s lovely, he’s a cute teddy bear. When he’s cranky, he’s like a woman crying because she lost her soulful boyfriend. When he’s angry, he’s a ravenous hyena eating flesh. Rohan introducing his character (Rohan) to his story. 

Radu: Suddenly, a crystal sad tear escaped from my eye and carefully rolled down my round and soft cheek; I just couldn’t stop it. Radu explaining how his character was sad. 

Courtney: Suddenly he got his gargantuan water gun and chased me down the bumpy slippery hill until I was out of breath! Great description Courtney!

Tilli: It was the day, the day when… Tilli’s opener to her flashback. 

Dan: Suddenly, Zaz, the crazy man, took out his daggers then… Squirt! Splat! Squelch! Dan describing Batman’s arch nemesis committing murder. 

Luke: We came third; we did really well but inside we won. Luke explaining their wonderful efforts at the cricket tournament at Horton House. 

William: Due to the fact of him driving down the longest street in the world, he had a flashback from when he was on a (four hour) high speed chase, when he was a police officer. William’s in depth description of the beginning of his flashback. 

Jack: Don’t mention it to him. A great short sentence showing how much Jack hates football. 

Tianna: She was walking through a forest, it was lovely, there were flowers, little reindeer, butterflies and bees, they were beautiful. A lovely description of the forest! 

Jamie: Then he went home and sat on his bed with no friends by his side. Jamie summarising his story well by explaining how the main character had lost all of his friends. 

Cynthia: As we re-welcomed ourselves back into the present day, we felt sad and emotional. Really emotional. A lovely transition from flashback to present day! Great description of the emotion too. 

Dzesmina: After the competition had finished, we went back home and we had a surprise. Some clear description from Dzesmina. 

Celina: I could feel a dark chill down my back, then I knew something was calling me from the shadows. Really good description from Celina! Very spooky. 

Tyla: To be added. 

Lily: A waterfall came from my right eye, the same as my left. Lovely description of the emotion by Lily!

Evie: Greeted by Michael’s music, face planted on her Michael pillow, tears came flying down the soft, fine skin on her rosy cheek, which sit above a wonderfully defined jawline. Evie’s great description of not only her character’s emotion, but her appearance too! 

Paris: Before I could cuddle Ivory to death, she gave one last yowl to end this sorrowful story, and I gave one last tear to end this painful paragraph. Really good description of emotion and linking it well to the progression of the story. 

Alicia: Although the volume of the emotion ascended hurriedly, rushing to flood, Jessie’s ‘guardians’ did not even sense the anxiety. Really good description of how Jessie’s foster parents did not care for her whatsoever. 

Kevin: People started to back away, even his own hair retreated. Brilliant emphasis on how, “everyone was staring at him with bewildering thoughts in their head”. 

Kansi: He saw himself. Laying in pain, screaming in pain. Neymar reliving his injury against Colombia. Written with good short sentences for effect and a good repeated adverbial phrase! 

Lucy: After a while it came to her, today was the last day of the innocent Year 5. Goodbye Mr Prosser, goodbye class mates and last, but not least, goodbye freedom! Lucy’s story contained flashbacks from the events of Year 5. This emotional piece worked really well as her story drew to a close. 

Overall, this is only a snippet of their writing… Everyone has done sensationally over the whole year; everyone’s writing has improved vastly! The best thing is that all of the work written recently continues with this high quality.

 

The Piano

Yesterday, we began looking at The Piano, a fantastic short film.

We have done some fantastic drama, discussion and even created a wordle (see below) which every child contributed a word to! Worlde

Below is some writing from the class:

The Piano

A sorrowful story about a man who goes back to a painful memory but also a soothing one too! Where he sees his loved ones, including his wife, grandson and his best friend, also himself. While he plays his fragile piano, he chants his way to sleep. This memorable story is touching enough to break your heart. Finally his gentle grandson plays one last note to end this charming story.

By Paris Read 

The Pianist

Above the beautiful piano lies ugly broken twigs with an old golden ring. The man has a neat jade green jumper and a crystal white shirt.

On the left of his head there are the remains of a tiny piece of hair.

By Jack Sparkes 

Brilliant by both!

Well done to all of Dyson for some fantastic work recently.

 

Writer of the week: Kansi Chukwujekwu

This is Kansi’s magazine article:

Brazil’s Football Team

Brazil is known for playing a very skilful, creative, free-flowing, fast-paced style of football. Because most Brazilians are often not as big, tall and physically strong as most Europeans, agility and ability is very important. For example: dribbling is an essential part to their style of football.

How good are Brazil?

Brazil is one of the most successful teams when it comes to football. The most known players for Brazil are: Hulk, Fred, Neymar, Osar, Willian and David Luiz. With these players and some more, Brazil have managed to win the FIFA World Cup 5 times and the Confederations Cup 4 times. Brazil has also played over 300 times at home and they have lost 20 times at home since 1939. Their last loss (at home) was in 2002.

To Conclude:

So, after hearing all of this, why don’t you come and watch them play? Do you think they will win the world cup?

Kansi has research all of this himself, and he has come up with how to write it entirely independently. At the end he poses a good rhetorical question: who will win the world cup? 

Writer of the Week…

A long time ago, in a small village called Helfen, a warrior called Dovocin watched an execution. However, moments later… THUD, BOOM! “What is that thing?” an anonymous guard shouted. It was a Cyclops.

“Rargh Dovocin!” The Cyclops raged. Dovocin quickly dodged a devastating attack, then ran to the keep. He nearly died until a soldier named Raf saved him from a building collapsing on him.

“You ok? My name is Raf, that thing was a Cyclops. A one eyed giant, with the strength of thrice the amount as one. He is as quick as all of our horses, so let’s get out of here!” The duo managed to escape to Woodriver, a mill nearby which Raf’s sister owns. Dovocin asked for directions and where he could acquire some weapons from. Everybody advised him to travel to Whitebill and warn the King, Balnuuf.

He walked to the city doors, then rushed to Cyclopsearch without stopping. When he arrived bandits had over-run the place. The only weapon he had was a Cyclops bone sword which he took from his father’s chest, shortly after he had died. The sword had been glued to him ever since. He also has leather armour which oddly is as strong as steel. Within minutes of the battle, every bandit was gone.

“You saved me, what can I do to repay you?” Balnuuf said with relief.

“There is a loose Cyclops and there may be more.” Dovocin replied. Balnuuf handed him a book: Dragons and Cyclops’. To put it short, the Cyclops’ killed all the dragons, then Odahvihn, god of destruction, who is also a dragon, banished them. However after he read it… BOOM, THUD. Another Cyclops, however different to the one in Helfen. Shortly after the fight it was dead.

“All priase Dovocin,” everyone chanted. Dovocin was confused. A guard told him he killed a Cyclops and only dragons can slay the beast, so if he tried hard he can breathe fire. “YOLSHU TUR,” Dovocin breathed. All of the corpses incinerated. He was one and the only descendant of a dragon…

Who is writer of the week? 

The Lion, The Llama and The Giraffe

One sunny day in Spring, a lion named Phil was relaxing with his mates Dan the Llama and Lucy the giraffe. Phil spotted a juicy yet poisoinous plum and he licked his dry lips. Lucy told him not to eat  it or he could die! But Phil did not listen! Dan chuckled with laughter. Three blinks later, Phil snatched a large chunk of the plum and swallowed it rapidly. Lucy was disappointed and she felt as if nobody wanted to listen to her. Suddenly Phil fainted!

Immediately, Lucy gave Phil a tablet. Then a few minutes later Phil awoke. Dan pulled a sad face because he thought that he had died, so he was so angry that he shouted, “Phil you scared me, you idiot!” They all laughed!

If you don’t listen you won’t learn.

A wonderful fable, by Lucy Brooks. 

A Memorable Advert

For the next couple of weeks we are looking at persuasive writing in our literacy lessons, and making great links to Tudors with it! Today we looked at TV adverts, and how amusing some of them are.

Evie Gribben described what an advert needs to be memorable:

It needs some humour and a sprinkle of reality. A catchy super slogan. Catchy Music. And top it off with a thick layer of out of the ordinary. 

Fantastic!

The Butterfly Lion, an Alternative Ending

After I had my delicious scones I put my plate away. The old lady was just about tell me the rest of the story, but I heard a knock on the door. Just then I saw a letter and it said, and I quote:

Dearest Millie,

                   I am so sorry that I haven’t been coming home lately, but the reason is I’ve had a horrible accident. When I went to work I burnt my leg, the one that was shot during the war, with some science chemicals. They might have to cut it off. In a few weeks I will be coming home. 

Lots of love, Bertie x

P.S Tell Morpurgo to stay. 

I didn’t know how he knew I was here, but it’s just one of them things. I gave the letter to Millie, the poor woman she was almost crying. After that disastrous feeling we heard a roar. The statue shattered to pieces, but out came a majestic lion.

By Courtney Davies

The Butterfly Lion Review by Kansi Chukwujekwu

The Butterfly Lion is a heart-touching story. It is written by Michael Morpurgo, and illustrated by Christian Birmingham. It has a review from the Sunday Times which reads; Morpurgo writes with a fine mixture of clarity, depth and feeling.

It is about a boy called Michael Morpurgo who runs away from school and meets a lady. He goes to her house, she gives him scones and tea, and tells him a story of a furry friend, Albert Andrews VC and the lady herself, Millie.

The best part is when Bertie is shot in the leg, saves two men and still gets a VC (Victorian Cross).

The part I would call not so good is when they spend ages describing the house instead of cracking on with the story.

If there is anything I would improve it would be the ending, where you do not know who is talking to the boy.

All in all ,I would rate the Butterfly Lion 10 out of 10, since it is just simply sensational.

The Butterfly Lion Review, by Kevin Guan

Hello my name is Kevin and this is my review of the Butterfly Lion:

The story begins when a young boy escapes from boarding school, during the escape he bumps into an old lady. He noticed a large lion made out of chalk, he then quizzed her about it, about the story.

It all begins in Africa, Timbavati, a boy called Bertie rescues a white lion cub, after his father had shot it’s mother. At this point i know something was going to happen, indeed it did, Bertie’s lion got sold to a circus in France. He got shipped to boarding school, the same boarding school as mentioned before. Bertie follows the same actions as that boy, escapes from the boarding school.

He bumps into the old woman, but younger, her name was Millie and they became friends after he rescued her kite. As a token for their friendship Bertie gave Millie a box kite, she never flew it, as if she lost it she would feel like she lost Betie. The became separated when he joined the army to fight in France, I would would have thought she was heartbroken.

After a month or so, Bertie was shot, yet managed to save two solders in No Man’s Land. He was awarded a Victorian Cross.

Millie found a way to find Bertie and save the lion. They got married and lived a life, then Bertie discovered chalk underground and decided to carve the Butterfly Lion. After completion, everyone died, yet Millie “lived” on, I found this confusing, so this affects my rating, it’s my least favourite part.

The story ends when the boy visits the house again and discovers nothing, but there was Millie’s voice telling him to take care of it. Due to the confusion I give it a 9.5/10 rating, the reason why was beccause the story was very interesting, but a little confusing. You should definitely get a copy!

– Kevin, Simon de Senlis

The Butterfly Lion

 

The butterfly lion is by Michael morpurgo .
We have been learning about the butterfly lion in literacy,
And we have been writing about it to.
The butterfly starts with a boy at boarding school who runs away and gets bullied
On his way he meets an old lady called millie
In Africa there is a boy called Bertie and he rescues a lion called the butterfly lion.
Bertie takes the lion to his farm as well as the mother. Bertie’s dad has to kill the lion’s mother because she chases his dad’s cattle so he shot her. So that left the lion on his own.
One day Bertie’s dad went out and saw a Frenchman who was looking for some lions for his circus, so his dad said we have got a beautiful white lion. The Frenchman was pleased, as Bertire was going to boarding school in England soon, it made sense. said you can have are lion said Bertie’s dad.
When Bertie’s dad had got home he told Bertie that he was selling the lion to the Frenchman but bertie shouted, “You cant you cant!”
Bertie’s dad said, “We are we can’t keep him here for ever.”
And that is a bit of the butterfly lion

By Jamie, Luke, Dan, Cynthia and Ayisha